Have you ever felt stuck in a place and you seemingly don’t have a clue as to how you got there? All you know is that it feels like quicksand and it’s slowly pulling you in. Maybe the divorce is finally final; the last child is graduating in a few weeks and going off to college, or all the kids are grown and gone.On the flip side you may be asking, How in the world am I supposed to raise these children alone? The job that once challenged and intrigued you; just doesn’t get you going anymore or you’ve been caring for a loved one who recently transitioned leaving you all alone with nobody to take care of. The relationship you’ve been fully committed to for the past five years has come to a bitter end;the chemo ended yesterday or you woke up this morning and you’re the big 30,40, 50, 60…!!! Ut Oh! So now what?
What in the world are you going to do with the rest of your life; now that your priority is not being somebody’s mother or lover or caregiver… or you have changed titles and everything in the world now seems…different. You mean I’m going to have to be the one to pay my own bills now and do my own laundry? How do I get used to not being Mrs. …or filling out widower on my paperwork. I showed up for twenty-five years to that job; I gave her the best twenty-one years of my life, and now she’s decided that she no longer wants to be my wife? Really?
I never planned on this! In fact, I did everything that I could to plan so my life would not turn out this way. Guess what people? Life happens to all of us, and often it is quite the contrary to what any of us dreamed of, prayed for, thought about or even simply imagined. Sometimes, it just is what it is and you’ve got to just roll with the punches. This means that you can’t allow any of these life circumstances or situations to become a final “TKO” (Technical Knock Out) You just have to decide that you’re going to do a Sugar Ray, or a Cassius Clay, and fake it until you make it! If it means that you have to talk smack and dance around change and adversity until you can see your way clear to throw another winning punch; then people get in gear for your best weave and bob and dance on your feet until the next jab becomes available.
None of these things or anything else for that matter, means that your life is over. Oh no! It’s not over! Not over! Not over! Sometimes it is simply an abrupt suggestion that it is time to start all over again. Don’t look at it as an ending, but instead see it as another chapter unfolding. The best part about it all is that you are a co-author in the writing and you can decide what the next part of the story will look like.
A beloved mentor of mine; Queenie Youngblood, gave me a poem many years ago when I started out on y life’s journey and the title is “Don’t Quit”. Take the time to read it ,but in the mean time, I ‘d like to share a simple line. “When care is pressing you down a bit; rest if you must, but don’t quit”. Please my friends don’t quit, instead remember that you can begin again!